The Kissee Cop

by Penny Bodner
(Richmond, Kentucky, USA)

Sometimes it's hard to get a kiss

around our small abode
And if you try to smooch on me
you'll have to hit the road
'Cause there's a little guy who'll
bite your sweet lips off
You might even look at him and
laugh before you scoff

'What a yappin' little mutt he
is, he can't be that bad'
He ain't big as a minute, true,
but he's a bad jack lad-
He came from a wild bunch,
born on a mountain top
Hailing from East Tennessee,
before he was the 'Kissee Cop'

Now a few of you, it is true,
know my bodyguard
He's my sweet bipolar baby
and for him it's hard
To separate love from hate
when he's not being kissed
So kiss him first and only him,
or you'll be on his list

Yep, 'Kissee Cop' needs his kissies,
it's just a little quirk
Guard dog, extraordinaire, and
Bobber's boss at work
We can't help but love the mutt
even when we bleed
'Cause 'Kissee Cop' can't help it---
he's of the 'Jack Ass' breed