Pink and Stink

by Donna Maynard
(Georgetown, TX , USA)

Dear JRT Friends,

Do you remember the adorable Disney character named Flowers in the movie "Bambi"? If you do, you know I am referring to one of God's creations that is proof He had a sense of humor. Why, oh why, do you think He thought to create such an animal? I know...he had me in mind!!!

At approximately 3:30 a.m. one morning not long ago, I got up to make a potty run. My potty room is right next to a door that opens up to our patio. While in “mid-stream”, I noticed that I could hear a box fan someone (the man of the house) had left on outside. After we had our patio enclosed, he set it up so that it will pull outside air into the patio while he tinkers around out there. Well, being the obsessive personality that I am...I finished my "business", unlocked and opened the back door and stepped out to turn off that fan. Normally, Major, my 9 year old Jack Russell terrier, is dreaming about eating a cat right about this time, but he heard that door open and decided he needed to make a potty run too. I knew that as soon as I got my last foot back in bed, he would scratch to come in. So...I decided to just wait on the patio and encourage him to hurry it up.

I hadn't taken time to turn on a light for fear someone might see me outside in my "nightie", therefore I couldn't see much, but my hearing magically made a huge improvement. Major had barely stepped out of the patio when I heard his claws peeling out across the deck. For those of you who don't own a JRT or a deck, this means "critter" alert. Whatever he was after wasn't trying to run away, instead Major was circling some kind of varmint right out there on the deck.

Before reading on, remember what I told you about the fan? Within about the 20 seconds or less that it took for me to open that darn backdoor and for Major to get to the deck, an aroma blasted me in the face that words cannot possibly describe. The fan is set to pull air INTO the patio, and I happened to be standing right in front of the fan...TO TURN IT OFF...remember? Before I even had the chance to reach for the "off" knob, it hit me. Well, I ran for the door which, by the way, I had not completely closed in case a "boogie man" was waiting outside for me. Since I didn't have the chance to turn off the fan, that lovely aroma entered the house at the same break-neck speed that I did.

Meanwhile...I raced to awaken the "sleeping dead" in the house. I should have known the response I would get, "What do you want ME to do about it?" Let's just say that he soon found out. We couldn't bring the dog in the house like that and apparently the little critter had decided to get under the deck in order to get away from Major. If you know JRT’s you know that Major wasn't budging, so that meant Mr. Skunk was adding insult to injury and kept spraying while Major hovered over him. The “man of the house” had the privilege of walking out on the deck to get Major (snicker, snicker!), and take the “stinker” to the garage while I made a mad dash to the all night grocery store at 4:00 a.m. to purchase as many gallon cans of tomato juice I could fit in the basket.

When I got back from shopping “Man” tried to convince me the dog didn’t get hit with the spray and that I must smell whatever had been sprayed into the air. I guess he thought I would let him go back to bed. WRONG!!!

I have never been so disgusted in my life. The smell of all that tomato juice combined with skunk was enough to make a grown man cry...and “Man” did! Poor, stinking Major! “Man” got to hold him while I doused the dog in that red, sticky juice. We all got soaked because you know what dogs do when they get wet...shake it off.

When juice bath was finished...it was decided that a repeat was definitely on the horizon later that day. Major wasn't too happy with me since I was in charge of the deed so he decided to sleep between another set of sheets for the remainder of the morning, thank goodness! I used up all the air freshener I could get my hands on in an attempt to cover the lingering stench thanks to the fan pulling all that air inside the patio AND house. However...God's "sense of humor" is still penetrating my nasal passages.

Oh well...my brave, Major dog! I’ll bet that skunk had never before met up with another animal that wouldn’t give him plenty of clearance. I now have a pink Jack Russell.